So where did my no-younger-men hangups come from?
My whole life, I’ve dated people who were my age or older–mostly at least a year older than me, but sometimes more like four or five. It never really struck me as odd that I would date someone who was older than me.
But when I think about dating a younger guy, I think it’s possibly the weirdest thing. I just don’t (think I) have any interest in it.
However, my current romantic inclinations are indicating differently. I wrote not that long ago about how I didn’t want to date someone younger than me, and this is still mostly holds true. I don’t go out looking for someone who is only 23 or 24.
But sometimes they find me. Whether I have known them my whole life (like The Cop, my friend from high school) or I just met them through a mutual friend, there are a couple of guys I’m chatting up that are both fun and exciting and younger than me.
I was talking to my best friend about this, and she thinks I’m absolutely nuts. She doesn’t understand what the big deal is. And I guess I don’t either. I’m not sure why I feel this way; I just always have.
Maybe it has to do with my own parents: my dad is two years older than my mom, and in my mind, that’s the way relationships should be. Now. I’m smart enough to know that there is no ideal relationship, that people click for many different reasons, and that two strong relationships don’t have to look anything alike.
But I was talking to my mom about the friend-of-a-friend, and her response was “Well, he’s just a pup. You don’t want that.”
This kid is only two years younger than me, and we actually have a lot in common. And he’s done some things that I’ve never done–like live abroad for a year–and I think that makes a big difference. We spent hours talking while we were out the other night, and the truth is that unless I’m actively thinking about it, I forget that he’s younger than I am.
Another one of my really good friends thinks it’s strange that I’m so hung up about his being younger than me. She’s met him, and said he was “unlikely on the surface” but seems like a good guy. That’s actually a perfect way to put it.
While my mom’s onto something in that I don’t want to date someone too much younger than me, there’s definitely more to it than just age. There’s a lot of other factors that makes someone datable, and I’m trying to remind myself that age is no longer the most important one (unlike when I was in high school). If there are likable things about these guys, should it really be a deal breaker if they are 23 or 24?