In my conversations with The Unexpected Italian (maybe I should just call him The Italian–The Half Italian?), he basically told me that he liked when a woman knows what she wants sexually. I feel like people often know this, but they have a hard time spelling it out.
In an episode of season 2 of Girls, Adam gets hooked up with Natalie, who very clearly articulates what she does not want sex to include. Even though it doesn’t work out for them, Adam knows before they even have sex what she does and doesn’t want.
As I’ve talked about before, there are some definite things that I do not want when it comes to sex. But I also know that there are some things that make being intimate way more enjoyable. And the best way to get me into bed is through my back.
Yes, my back. I wouldn’t even complain about receiving that love coupon because, let’s be honest, the best sex usually starts with back massages. This is one of the benefits of being in an actual relationship; you can have those expectations and it’s not weird. I’m not gonna ask a one-night stand for a back rub. My boyfriend? Of course I will.
I’m not the only one like this, right? My back is seriously one of the most sensual parts of my body, if not the most. If a guy can touch me there in the right way, I will basically melt in his arms. It’s a little ridiculous.
I’m prone to walking around with one arm hooked behind my back. It makes me feel more comfortable, like I’m somehow safe if my mid-to-lower back isn’t directly exposed to whatever is behind me. If a guy wants me to feel safe and secure, this is where he should touch me. It’s calming and romantic and makes me feel like he’s in tune with what makes me feel good.
That’s not the only way my back can come into the bedroom. It’s horribly, horribly intimate to me. If a guy delicately runs his fingers over it, I’m gone. There’s no hope left because I’m basically putty, waiting for him to push and shape and mold and whatever, except that symbol is a little to passive. I’m like a putty that pushes back, that does what a guy wants but that also does what it wants.
I get the feeling this is how they end sex, but honestly, I’d like for it to begin this way.
There are days when I think about The Best Boyfriend I Never Had. He was pretty good at the touching and caressing the back thing. Sometimes, I can see feel the way he wrapped his arms around me, the way he held me and ran his finger up and down my back.
Most guys are more concerned with putting their hands on a woman’s chest, her vagina, and maybe even her hips (if she’s lucky). But guys seem to neglect the way that touching the back can add to the bedroom experience.