Category Archives: television

Lucky in Love

Some days, it just hits me how lucky I am.

A year ago, I was finally recovering from one of the worst relationships of my life. Now, I’m in one of the best relationships I’ve ever had.

But tonight, I am marathoning Catfish and if there is anything that can make a woman feel lucky in love, it’s watching this show. Especially after having tried the “online dating” thing and having one pretty miserable experience.

I think some of these situations are just absolutely crazy. I was totally shocked to see in one episode that Marcus is a real person. He’s really who he says he is!

But then he said something along the lines of “you can’t commit to just one kind of pizza.”


And I feel like Daisy and Marcus had one of the better experiences. This is one of only a couple of times that I can remember the mystery person being who they said they were. Most of the time, it’s someone enacting a fantasy to, at best, deal with negatives of their own lives, or, at worst, to intentionally manipulate and take advantage of someone else they’ve met on the internet.

I am one of the lucky ones, I think while watching. Not necessarily for avoiding a catfish scenario, but because I am in love.

Real, true, genuine love.

And that is such a good feeling. Even in the sucky moments. Even when I’m upset the TTP is so far away. Even when I feel sad, lonely, and discouraged: I. Am. So. In. Love.

And that makes me one lucky lady.

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“Ratchet” and Other Things I Learned Today

1. What it means to be “Ratchet.”

As I’ve mentioned before, I really do love trashy television. Sometimes, though, I take it too far and watch the really bad stuff, like Jerry Springer.

I have to preface this by saying that I’ve been watching Jerry for a long time. I can remember staying over with my grandma when I was little, sleeping in her room and watching Jerry with her late at night. So my love of Jerry Springer goes waaaaay back. It’s in my blood.

I go through Jerry-watching phases, and the past couple of days I’ve been sending down during the lunch hour(s) and knitting while watching Maury and Jerry Springer.

Oh boy.

Today, one of the guests referred to another woman as “ratchet.” This is not the first time I’d heard the word, but I’ve never quite understood it.

At first, I thought she said “wretched,” but she was very clearly saying “ratchet.” I was just about to whip out my phone to look it up on Urban Dictionary (because after hearing it a hundred times, I’ll finally look it up. If it’s in Jerry, it’s clearly not going anywhere) when the speaker explained what it meant: a trashy woman (person?) who is into drugs/alcohol/partying/sex. I’ve never heard this word used re: a man, but I guess it’s not unheard of.

A man can be ratchet, too, right?

2. Prescriptivists are taking over Urban Dictionary.

Of course, I did still look ratchet up on Urban Dictionary, only to find this as the second most popular definition:

It’s a fucking socket wrench.

The correct way to use the word “ratchet” would be, “Wow, this ratchet is so useful.”

“Damn, she so ratchet–“

“Shut the fuck up, it’s a socket wrench.”

At first, I was like “I’m so glad I’m not the only one!” because that’s definitely the first then I think of when I hear the word ratchet. Like, that girl is so wrenchy? But then I was thinking about what it means that (a) people are posting such aggressive reactions to language evolution and (b) other people are upvoting it.

Of course, these people probably don’t know they’re prescriptivists, and they probably make their own “mistakes” in language use from a prescriptive perspective. But isn’t it interesting to see these sorts of comments being made.

3. “Ham Sandwich” is a drinking thing.

I was listening to Jason Derulo earlier, and I’ve always been bothered by this line in one of his songs (I think it’s “Bubblegum” but I’m not 100 percent sure): “Go ahead and go ham sandwich.” I don’t know what this means.

Then, I got on Facebook and one of my friends posted about a shot (set of shots? shot pattern?) called the “Ham Sandwich” where one takes a dark, light, then dark shot. Maybe she is making this up, but probably not. Is this what Jason Derulo is talking about?

A quick perusal of Urban Dictionary shows there are a lot of potential definitions for “ham sandwich,” and none of the other ones seem more likely to be what he’s talking about.

4. I might be out of touch?

I don’t know. Maybe it’s totally fine and normal that I don’t know what ratchet and ham sandwich mean. Maybe it’s weird. I guess I’ll probably never know.

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Taking Time to Take Care of Yourself

On last night’s action-packed (seriously) season finale of Marriage Boot Camp, Gloria became the first person to not give back her partner’s ring, leaving Mark understandable upset.

And the Twitterverse, with Jim joking (sort of?):

Honestly, I wasn’t all that shocked that Gloria and Mark didn’t stay together, though I do have to commend Gloria for her reasoning: “I need to take time for me.”

At first, this seems kind of selfish, especially because I think Mark really did grow and really pored his heart out to her only moments before being crushed. But her whole point was that while the two of them had both grown as individuals, they hadn’t grown together as a couple, and she still had a lot of work to do in order to make their (or any) relationship work.

As Jim and Elizabeth said, and their production company later tweeted:

Usually, the best decision is the hardest one to make. We see Gloria say that she isn’t sure if walking away from her marriage to Mark would just be running away from another problem. Some fixes for problems seem easy, but they aren’t necessarily the right ones.

But this isn’t really about choices. This is about taking care of ourselves. How do we know when it’s time to “take time for me”? Continue reading

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Things We Can Learn from Reality TV

I often get mocked for my trash-TV fixation. I just can’t help it! I love really horrible reality (and not-so-reality) TV shows, from cooking contests like Chopped or Cutthroat Kitchen to those that follow people attempting to grow and change like My Strange Addiction to the ever-popular relationship-based shows like Southern Charm and Bridezillas. I don’t care how sensationalized some of these shows are, I love them.

Lately, I have been hooked on Marriage Boot Camp. My mom and I watch it all the time, much to my father’s chagrin. He sleeps through it and sometimes even outrightly makes fun of us (read: me) for tearing up during the show.

The thing is, I feel like I’m learning a lot about relationships and how to make them healthy just by watching Mai-Lee, Tomas, Blanca, Julian, Gloria, Mark, Sofia, Shaun, Tasha, and Jeff try to navigate their feelings, failings, and futures with Jim, Elizabeth, and interchangeable co-director set #2 (okay, these guys are cute but I can’t remember their names and, like the ones on Season 1, they serve limited functions and are totally replaceable, so. . .sorry?).

I didn’t get into MBC until season 2 started, really, so I’ve recently binge-watched the first season, as well. My mom and I spend a lot of time talking about what we can actually learn and take-away to our own relationships. Some of their advice is definitely very partner-based (like how to make sex happen), while other parts are more centered on an individual and can help viewers to improve themselves regardless of whether they are in a relationship.

Forgiveness. Image from, used under Creative Commons license.

Continue reading

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