Tag Archives: men

Bye, Bye, Dating Life. Hello, Relationship.

With things go so well with The Traveling Progressive, readers can look forward to different kinds of posts coming at them here.

But that brings me to a predicament: what do I do with the Tech Head?

Here’s the deal: I started talking to this guy a while ago, we text often, but he was out of town until recently. Now he’s back and wants to hang out, even though I haven’t responded to any of his texts for the past week. I don’t want to be a bitch and just ignore him because he seems like someone who would be a good friend, but I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings about the fact that I’m not looking for anything other than friends.

However, I also don’t want to send him a text that just assumes he’s only looking for someone to have a relationship with because that seems a little shitty. It reminds me of that text. . .

So I was thinking of something along the lines of: “Welcome back to [shitty town]! It would be great to hang out, but I feel like I should let you know that I’ve started seeing someone and am only interested in being friends.”

Does that sound shitty? Does that sound presumptuous? Does it sound like I’m keeping that door cracked open just-in-case?

That last one is definitely not how I want to sound. I’m almost obnoxiously serious about TTP. I still can’t seem to locate any flaws; last night I was in the crappiest mood, and he told me he would “just love on me” until I felt better; he makes fun of my weird quirks without being an ass. He likes to see me, and I like to see him, and even though it’s only been a couple of weeks, I don’t foresee any major shifts in feelings any time soon on either of our parts. I’m wild about him, and it’s not even that scary.

In other news, my friends keep telling me it needs to be “facebook official” but TTP and I decided to just not list any relationship status on there at all. I think it’s super cute that he removed his relationship status because of our conversation/the day after we had this conversation. In this convo, I told him that I didn’t have a relationship status because I have several friends that I didn’t necessarily want to know I was single, and I have several colleagues/former students as friends, and I don’t think my relationship status is any of there business. This convo ended with, “So, I basically just decided I wouldn’t have a relationship status unless I am in a relationship.”

His response? “The best way to beat the system is to not play by their rules.”

 

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Me: This is wonderful, but it’s also bad. Very bad. And by bad, I mean that I’m going to crash and burn for him.

J: 

Me: If I haven’t started already.

J: I was gonna say.

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Bye-Bye, July

My life continues to get more and more complicated, even though things are going well in basically all aspects.

The Cop is officially away. We chatted a bit the few days before he left while he was out of town, but other than that I have been cut off. I did some Facebook stalking that I’m not proud of, mostly because it wasn’t so much of him but of girls who were tagged with him in recent photos. From a 5k. Because I am totally insane.

It was fruitless stalking, of course. I also had a cryptic conversation about The Cop with a mutual friend. It was good because I was making some pretty passive aggressive comments about men/dating/his friends. I know he found it funny because we used to have these conversations in high school. I’m mostly still happy that I refrained from ever texting him and asking if The Cop was interested in anyone. So now our mutual friend knows, but oh well? He would have figured it out eventually on his own anyway.

So it’s a bummer that The Cop is gone, but I will live. Because I have plenty to keep me busy/entertained. Continue reading

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Hello, Operator?

So, I’m starting to wonder if communication is not my strong suit. I don’t think this is actually true, but lately I feel like I’m genuinely having trouble getting through to the guys in my life.

My poor friends listen to me bitch so much, and multiple of them have been like “I just can’t keep track of these guys anymore.”

Yeah, welcome to my life, guys.

I’ve recently been chatting up with guy I met on OKCupid who also works at the same university I do. We’ve mostly texted but he seems very nice. He’s fun to talk to. He wanted to get together this weekend, but I already had a lot of other plans and needed to spend some time at my house. Given the last internet-spark date fiasco, I am totally fine with taking it a bit slower and not meeting up with people until I’ve talked to them for a while. He’s leaving to go out of town until school starts again at the end of August, so I guess that gives us plenty of opportunity to talk before deciding if meeting up is the way to go?

Anyways, in Am-I-Really-An-Awful-Communicator? News. . . Continue reading

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Age is Just a Number. . .

So where did my no-younger-men hangups come from?

My whole life, I’ve dated people who were my age or older–mostly at least a year older than me, but sometimes more like four or five. It never really struck me as odd that I would date someone who was older than me.

But when I think about dating a younger guy, I think it’s possibly the weirdest thing. I just don’t (think I) have any interest in it.

However, my current romantic inclinations are indicating differently. I wrote not that long ago about how I didn’t want to date someone younger than me, and this is still mostly holds true. I don’t go out looking for someone who is only 23 or 24.

But sometimes they find me. Whether I have known them my whole life (like The Cop, my friend from high school) or I just met them through a mutual friend, there are a couple of guys I’m chatting up that are both fun and exciting and younger than me.

Eeeeek.

I was talking to my best friend about this, and she thinks I’m absolutely nuts. She doesn’t understand what the big deal is. And I guess I don’t either. I’m not sure why I feel this way; I just always have.

Maybe it has to do with my own parents: my dad is two years older than my mom, and in my mind, that’s the way relationships should be. Now. I’m smart enough to know that there is no ideal relationship, that people click for many different reasons, and that two strong relationships don’t have to look anything alike.

But I was talking to my mom about the friend-of-a-friend, and her response was “Well, he’s just a pup. You don’t want that.”

Huh.

This kid is only two years younger than me, and we actually have a lot in common. And he’s done some things that I’ve never done–like live abroad for a year–and I think that makes a big difference. We spent hours talking while we were out the other night, and the truth is that unless I’m actively thinking about it, I forget that he’s younger than I am.

Another one of my really good friends thinks it’s strange that I’m so hung up about his being younger than me. She’s met him, and said he was “unlikely on the surface” but seems like a good guy. That’s actually a perfect way to put it.

While my mom’s onto something in that I don’t want to date someone too much younger than me, there’s definitely more to it than just age. There’s a lot of other factors that makes someone datable, and I’m trying to remind myself that age is no longer the most important one (unlike when I was in high school). If there are likable things about these guys, should it really be a deal breaker if they are 23 or 24?

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Match.com: Worth It?

So, I went away for a couple of days. I had a great trip out of town with my BFF.

Both my OkCupid and Tinder apps updated my location (silly GPS!) and I started getting a lot of profile views from people who are a 3-hour drive away from where I live. I didn’t get on Tinder to check out any potential matches. That was either a great decision or silly one, because maybe my ideal guy is actually there and now I’ll never know? Continue reading

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Enough with the B Word, Guys

What is it with guys dropping the B word?

Baby. . .babe. . .baby. . .babe. . .

Ugh.

We just met. I am not your baby.

At first, I thought this was just a personal quirk, but I’m starting think that maybe there’s something more to it. Why do guys say it so much? Do they think we like it?

If you can’t tell, I sure don’t.

I first encountered this a few years ago. I had just met this guy, made a few bad choices, and ended up having drunk sex with him. I swear “baby” came out of his mouth every sentence.

He was all, “you’re so sexy, baby” and “I could eat you all night, baby” and baby baby baby baby baby.

It was hard not to laugh. Seriously.

Then, about a week ago, I ended up sleeping with this guy who is a friend-of-a-friend. This ended up pretty much the same way:

“I love eating you, baby,” “oh God, baby, you’re sexy,” and baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby.

I think I might have actually slapped him across the face and told him not to call me baby. He did not get the hint.

baby

Okay. So maybe it’s a drunk sex thing?

But then I went on that awful date, and if I had a penny for every time he condescendingly called me “babe” that night, I would have come home like a thousand dollars richer.

The sad thing is that I’m not even kidding.

I can’t honestly figure out why it bugs me so much, but getting called “baby,” especially in the bedroom, just drives me fucking crazy. I’m not a baby. I am not a child.

I’m an adult, making the decision to hang out with/take you inside me, and you will fucking respect that.

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Do Men Put Any Thought Into. . . Their Underwear?

Have you ever really thought about men’s underwear?

I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I spend a lot of time thinking about my underwear. Even when I’m not planning for anyone to see those underwear (which is about 99% of the time, seriously), I still put a lot of thought into my bra and panties.

Sometimes this thought is completely about comfort. Today, for example, I’m wearing my favorite cotton underwear. I’m also just working in my house: watching Millionaire Matchmaker, trying to work on Fucking Story, Bro or whatever it turns out to be called. I’m not even wearing a bra because why would I?

(hint: If you’re looking for a great pair of cotton panties, check out these by Jockey. I can’t buy enough of them).

There are a lot of options out there for women looking for specific kinds of underwear, from the everyday to the super-sexy to the novelty.

Are there even options beyond boring every boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs for men? And if there are, why don’t guys where them?

I won’t lie. When I get dressed in the morning, before going out, before work, before a date, etc. etc., I think about whether or not there’s even an opportunity for someone else to see my panties. I wear them for me, but knowingly. Nothing beefs up confidence quite like a pair of sexy panties, especially if they match your bra (bonus points for matching to shoes, too).

But guys’ underwear is pretty inconsequential. Most of them are pretty staunch in the preferences of boxers, briefs, or boxer-briefs, so their options are narrowed basically instantly. After that, is there really much of a difference between solid blue, striped, or plaid? No. No there’s not.

I’d like to meet a man who appreciates good underwear, and not just on me. Maybe that’s silly. But shouldn’t guys put in a little effort to?

Like these lace undies by AMC, available on Amazon (of course).

Like these lace undies by Simplicity, available on Amazon (of course).

I don’t actually know what my reaction would be if I was with a guy, he took off his pants, and revealed this. Maybe if he was a bit hunkier than the model in this photo, it would be sexy. Too bad these definitely aren’t marketed for the hunks I’d like to see them on.

Maybe I’m thinking too hard about this. Maybe guys don’t care as much about my underwear as I do (seeing as most guys just rip them off without even a second glance). But if I know your favorite color is red, and I’m planning for you to see my panties, they’re probably going to be red.

Would it be so bad for a guy to put some effort into his under things?

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