Tag Archives: neighborhood

I do not fuck around with arachnids

text convo

So, this happened today. It started as a totally normal convo that I was stressed out about because it only took his six hours to respond. But, you know, it’s not like I should expect him to answer me stat because, like, that is irrational for a number of reasons.

Anyway, I frequently text The Cop about spiders, but then My BFF and I saw there there is a FUCKING STANDOFF happening like two blocks from my house. It’s insane! I’m a little freaked out by it, but I’m also not going to be one of those people who stands on the street corner watching it go down.

Naturally, I texted The Cop demanding answers. When he didn’t respond, I was texting a friend of ours who also lives nearby to let him know that The Cop has left me to the wolves (and also to update him because I don’t think is around but he totally needs to know that his house is being protected by two cop cars.

Anyway, this is as close to saying something that indicates that I might care about him in any way, shape, or form. Telling him not to die is the best I can do. 😦

Fortunately, there have still not been any gun shots fired. I don’t think that’s going to stop me from lying awake tonight wondering if The Cop is OK until I know that this standoff is over.

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